Discernment and Devotion: Lessons from Saints Peter and Paul

Dear friends on this journey of faith,

As we gathered today to celebrate the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul, a profound sense of inspiration washes over me. These titans of our faith, apostles and architects of the early Church, stand as towering examples of courageous leadership. Their steadfast dedication laid the groundwork for the Christian faith we hold dear.

Reflecting on my own journey towards ordained ministry, a transformative moment occurred last summer during my time at Oxford Summer School studying "Christian Leadership in a time of Crisis". It was truly a turning point for me. Engaging with Senior Anglican leaders and immersing myself in the profound narrative of Peter's journey illuminated a fundamental aspect of ministry: the cultivation of a vibrant faith community, far beyond mere personal belief.

As I anticipate my next phase in Melbourne, I've come to realise that genuine leadership involves consistently discerning God's call, not in isolation but within a community context.  For the past few weeks, I've been engaged in deep prayer, asking questions in community and seeking clarity on the specific location where my gifts can best serve the Church. While I initially considered churches in the Malvern, Kew, or Brunswick areas, a recent visit to St. Paul's Cathedral in Melbourne marked a turning point in my pilgrimage. Attending The Dean's sermon today on leadership and call to ordained ministry felt like a divine appointment, reinforcing my sense of purpose and direction.

Reflecting on the challenges encountered by Saints Peter and Paul, I am deeply moved by their faith amidst adversity. Their example resonates with me as I navigate uncertainties in my path to ordination. Like Paul's transformative encounter with Christ on the road to Damascus, I too yearn for a deeper understanding of my faith and path. As I eagerly anticipate an upcoming year of discernment, I draw parallels in my daily routine. Each morning, before attending my classes at Pilgrim College taught by the trailblazing academics Dr. Jo Inkpin and Rev Pen Jones in Queer Theology, my quiet run through the city initially evoked feelings of being a small fish in a big sea. Yet, in moments of reflection, God's word brings clarity. Just as David faced Goliath with unwavering faith (1 Samuel 17), the scripture readings remind me I am not alone, and nothing is to big for our God.

The life of Saint Peter serves as a constant source of inspiration for me, as it does for many on the path to ordained ministry. Witnessing his transformation from a simple fisherman to a pivotal leader in the early church fills me with awe. Both Peter and Paul's dedication to their calling serves as a powerful reflection for me as I navigate the uncertainties inherent in theological study and formation.

This journey of discernment has ignited a deeper fire within me, a profound appreciation for the transformative power of love in cultivating a thriving faith community.  As I embark on a more intensive phase of my studies, this truth becomes ever clearer.  It resonates deeply when I reflect on the simple acts of love, like the beautiful prayer square lovingly knitted for me by my friend Marjorie from my St. James congregation on the Gold Coast.  These tangible expressions of Christian love serve as a potent reminder of the support and strength found within our fellowship.

I want to add to this blog post, I am also contemplating the prospect of pursuing a role in the Uniting Church in Victoria/TAS or returning to serve in the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC). This consideration emerges from a reflection on my vocational strengths and the significant delay potentially entailed—up to two decades—for ordination within the Anglican Church, attributable to my marital status and open identification as a gay Christian. Furthermore, I sense a degree of alienation from the mainstream church; the Anglican Church establishment appears akin to an empire, whereas the Uniting Church and particularly MCC, with their pronounced "queer to the core" inclusivity, resonate more as bastions of resistance.

Brad Billings' book "Truly Called", particularly the chapter on qualities, characteristics, and spiritual maturity, has been a helpful resource for me. When I first embarked on this path in 2018, I readily admit I lacked the necessary maturity. However, I am reminded that God cultivates maturity in those with a true calling. I am humbled by the process of formation, recognizing that no amount of technical skill or competition can replace this quality. For this gift of a growing calling and the opportunity to serve, I am deeply grateful and give thanks - This may prompt you the reader to consider: What unexpected lessons have you learned on your own leadership journey?

Today, as we commemorate Saints Peter and Paul's martyrdom in Rome and their roles in building the Christian Church, we honour their faith and devotion to Christ, even in the face of persecution. Their witness to Jesus as Lord and Messiah continues to inspire us. Drawing strength from 2 Timothy, "The Lord stood by me and gave me strength", I embark on this new chapter with deep gratitude for God's faithfulness and provision. With sincere thanks to those who have supported and guided me, I step forward with hope and eager anticipation. May God's strength sustain me, along with my fellow ordinands and peers, through every part of this sacred journey. I extend a heartfelt thank-you to my beloved partner Tristan and to my friend Dianne for your friendship and support.

Let us unite in prayer, giving thanks for the lives of Saints Peter and Paul. Their dedication to Christ's mission challenges us to boldly live out our faith. May we, like them, embrace our callings with courage and faith, knowing that in Christ, we find our true strength and purpose. Amen.

Photo Source: stgeorgesmalvern.org
Editors note: This story was updated 2/7/24