From Pulpit to Purpose: The Journey of Restoration for Pastor Paule
Some of us are called to walk paths we never anticipated, weaving our life experiences, struggles, and gifts into something meaningful, even transformative. My new friend Paule’s life has been a living testimony to the complexity of such a calling. His journey has taken him from the pulpit to the depths of addiction and back, each step marked by profound learning, hard-won grace, and a constant pull toward authenticity.
Paule’s story doesn’t shy away from struggle. Growing up, he was surrounded by a family that offered love in its own unique way—a father who, though puzzled by Paule’s choices, stood by him, and friends who have become more like family, showing him the kind of faith that doesn’t abandon you even when you’ve lost your way. Paule’s father, with his ever-steady love, has watched him from the sidelines, witnessing both the highs and lows, never fully understanding his choices but always supporting him in ways that mattered. And then there was Ron, Paule’s friend and a significant influence in his life who, during one of Paule’s stints in rehab, encouraged him to share his journey with others, suggesting he start something like a blog or a podcast to reach people who were struggling as he was.
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| A journey of healing is never walked alone. Ron and Pastor Paule (Missoula, Montana) |
That suggestion sparked something in Paule that would eventually become his platform, "Drunk Pastor." But it wasn’t just a catchy title; it was a declaration of the brutally honest and painfully beautiful truth of Paule’s life. He had walked through the fire, struggled with addiction, and come out the other side—scarred but alive, aware of his failings, and deeply aware of God’s grace. It was Ron and others like him and his friend Dave—people who saw him at his lowest and chose to stay—that helped Paule find his way back to himself and to a more authentic understanding of God. This journey is something he shares openly because he believes that faith and theology should be as real as the struggles we face, and that loving someone through their brokenness is, in essence, the heart of what faith should be.
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| Dave and Pastor Paule with a thumbs up 👍 |
Though he has yet to visit Australia, Paule's connection to the land Down Under runs deep. An influential high school teacher shared stories of the beauty and uniqueness of our country, making Australia a tantalizing destination in Paule's mind. He’s fascinated by the rich cosmologies of Indigenous peoples, noting that Aboriginal mythology, along with Mayan and ancient Middle Eastern beliefs, speaks to humanity’s common search for God. In Paule's words, "From Mayans and Aboriginals to the heart of the ancient Middle East, all of humanity has been searching and God pointing to answers."
For Paule, addiction took hold in subtle ways: impulsivity, a lack of security, and manipulative behaviours he came to recognize in his relationships. But the spiral deepened as he took on the role of church planter in Missoula, Montana, a journey he says he embarked on already knowing he was on the brink. Yet he carried on, leaning into a faith tested by personal trauma, unresolved ego issues, and an ever-growing imposter syndrome. Eventually, he found himself dependent on alcohol, even needing to drink before preaching. The end came with a breaking intervention from his ex-wife, church leaders, and an elder.
After years of turmoil, two stints in rehab, and reaching a rock-bottom .407 blood alcohol level, Paule finally began to see hope. In September 2021, he embraced sobriety, determined to leave behind the destructive patterns that had consumed his life. The journey wasn’t one Paule could walk alone. In his first rehab experience, he met Ron, a father figure who has since become a steadfast friend. Ron’s presence during those difficult days became a symbol of the unconditional love Paule desperately needed. Paule remembers how, in his darkest moment, Ron held him in an upstairs locker room, offering the support and compassion he’d craved since childhood.
Even in his second rehab, as he navigated the realities of his addiction, Paule could lean on Ron’s wisdom and steadfast belief in his recovery. Ron’s influence has been a guiding light, as Paule reflects, “I know he thinks my faith and ideas are a little crazy. He’s still waiting, I think, to see how I turn out.” The two share a bond marked by humour and mutual respect, with Paule gifting Ron white socks each year in honour of his friend's love for simple comforts.
Paule's faith has undergone a profound transformation since his days in ministry. Through AA, he discovered a perspective that radically challenged his preconceived notions of spirituality. "Faith is in the small, mustard seeds," he notes, emphasizing how recovery taught him that true spirituality lies in the ordinary, in daily discipline and the quiet moments between tasks.
The idea that one’s relationship with God is deeply personal—“God as we understood Him”—struck a powerful chord for Paule. It redefined his concept of faith, drawing him closer to a mystical experience that wasn’t defined by knowledge or certainty but by open curiosity and acceptance.
Paule's journey is a powerful reminder of the strength it takes to confront one's own inner darkness. In his ongoing quest for healing and understanding, he’s found a new calling: to question, to seek, and to extend a hand to others walking similar paths. His story is a tribute to the bravery required to seek out the light in the midst of brokenness and to recognize that faith, as elusive as it sometimes seems, can indeed be found in the smallest of moments and the simplest of actions.
Paule's journey into church planting began with a mixture of excitement and trepidation, feelings that many leaders can relate to. He recalls how, in his first church plant, he “avoided fear even while doing it” and felt torn between a calling and an unresolved insecurity. But these challenges ultimately drove him to create something he deeply values: a community that values “more listening, less me; more clarity, less guessing.” It’s a philosophy that has transformed his approach, creating an environment where both new and reconciled relationships thrive. Paule's Church planting experience sounds more like church ‘gardening’—you never know what weeds might pop up, but with the right care, some amazing blooms can emerge.
The struggles of church planting mirror the deeper challenges Paulie faced within himself. Wrestling with identity has been a significant part of his journey—both in his role as a former pastor and in his present life. For him, being a “recovering pastor” is not about reconciling two identities but about embracing the paradox. He enjoys the reactions of those surprised by his past in ministry, often teasing that he’s found a way to make peace with the tension between his old and new selves.
Paule's words reveal that this duality is part of his authenticity. His time in ministry continues to shape him, even as he moves into roles that may seem unconventional. In his journey, faith communities don’t need rigid models; instead, they need “people above programs,” emphasizing that love and compassion must be at the heart of every faith community.
For Paule, addiction masked deeper issues from his past, leading him to AA and a path of self-discovery. He echoes a sentiment familiar to many in recovery: “Alcohol wasn’t the problem—it was the solution.” Unpacking those underlying problems required therapy, discipline, and a commitment to vulnerability. “Rigorous honesty from AA, vulnerability from Brené Brown, and walking in the light of fellowship from John,” Paule shares, have been pivotal in his growth. These principles have helped him peel back the layers of his past, one day at a time.
Recovery has taught Paule that addiction requires more than abstinence; it demands a supportive community and a space to confront shame and brokenness. His advice for faith communities is simple yet profound: “Get over the stigma of addiction and start empathizing with it.” Faith communities can be a beacon for addicts by creating spaces that offer both connection and accountability, a vision that Paule brings to life in his own ministry.
Paule finds solace and strength in the stories of biblical figures like Jacob, Moses, and Paul. The story of Jacob resonates with him most, particularly as a man who once masked fear as confidence and who saw that behaviour echo in his family. Jacob’s story of struggle and reconciliation is one Paule understands deeply: “As a father, a recovering pastor, and a man who has met his fair share of circumstances… I am Jacob, and far be it if my story ends like that—not anymore. Not for my kids.”
These ancient stories offer Paule guidance as he embraces leadership. Fear, he notes, is often “an enemy of love and faith,” and his own journey exemplifies how facing fear can bring transformative freedom. This perspective, grounded in humility and resilience, now fuels his work in faith communities, creating a compassionate approach that prioritizes both authenticity and accountability.
Paule's journey from pastor to recovery advocate reveals the courage it takes to build a new life from brokenness. His story challenges faith communities to embrace vulnerability, reimagine leadership, and extend a hand to those wrestling with addiction and identity. For him, faith is not about perfection but about the honesty of facing one’s own humanity. His message to other leaders and church planters is clear: be courageous enough to question, be humble enough to listen, and be open enough to embrace the unknown. Paule's journey, marked by authenticity and empathy, serves as a powerful reminder that our scars can become the most profound sources of connection and healing, both for ourselves and for those we serve.
As Paule navigates his journey of recovery and renewal, I am reminded of the story of Kintsugi—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, and the philosophy of Wabi-Sabi. This practice honours the history of the piece rather than disguising its imperfections. In many ways, Paule’s story mirrors this beautiful philosophy; each scar and crack tells a tale of struggle, resilience, and transformation. Just as Kintsugi highlights the beauty found in brokenness, Paule’s journey reveals that our wounds can become sources of strength and wisdom. His faith, once fractured, now gleams with the gold of hard-won grace and authenticity, illuminating the path for others who walk similar roads.
As it is written in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” In embracing his scars, Paule invites us all to see that restoration is not about returning to a former state of wholeness but about celebrating the journey and the beauty that emerges from the cracks. Similarly, as we reflect on Isaiah 64:8, we remember that "we are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." In this divine craftsmanship, we find that God shapes us through our experiences, moulding our weaknesses into strengths, reminding us that like clay in the potter’s hands, we are continually being formed and reformed in His grace.
As Paule moved through his recovery, he began to see himself not just as a survivor, but as a leader. Though he had once been afraid of the responsibility that came with church planting, his journey through recovery had prepared him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. Paule started to see that his experiences—the highs, the lows, and everything in between—had equipped him to lead in a way that was authentic and grounded in compassion.
As he pursues new projects, such as a men’s group program with suicide prevention training in Missoula, Paule has found purpose and clarity. Reflecting on his journey, he acknowledges that community is essential: “We die without community. We heal with it.” These words underscore his realization that church planting and leadership demand authenticity and a willingness to engage with people honestly, beyond titles and roles. Paule’s leadership isn’t about power or authority; it’s about service. It’s about walking alongside others, offering them the same grace and acceptance that he has found.
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| Pastor Paule and the Men: A Brotherhood in Missoula, Challenging Stigmas Together |
Sunday's lectionary reading Job 42:1-7, 10-17, is a passage that speaks deeply to Paule’s journey. After all of his suffering, Job’s story doesn’t end in despair; it ends in restoration. Job’s journey reminds us that no matter how deep our pain, no matter how far we’ve fallen, God is always there, ready to bring healing and renewal. For Paule, this story is a powerful reminder that his journey, too, is one of restoration. Like Job, he has faced trials that have tested his faith and reshaped his understanding of God. And like Job, he has come to a place of deep humility, recognizing that true wisdom comes not from having all the answers but from a willingness to embrace the mystery of faith.
In Job’s story, we see a God who restores not because of what we’ve done, but because of who God is—a God of love, mercy, and compassion. This restoration wasn’t just about material wealth; it was about a renewed sense of purpose, a reaffirmation of Job’s place in God’s world. In Paule’s life, we see this same kind of divine restoration at work. The struggles he has faced, the fears he has conquered, and the faith he has rekindled have all been part of his journey back to wholeness.
For Paule, and for all of us on this path of faith, restoration isn’t about erasing the past or pretending our scars don’t exist. It’s about finding beauty in the brokenness, purpose in the pain, and faith in the mystery. Like Job, Paule has come to understand that true restoration doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means trusting that God is present in the questions, in the struggle, and in the quiet moments of grace that sustain us along the way.
To Pastor Paule and all who are navigating the complexities of their calling, hold onto this truth: Restoration is on its way. It may not arrive in the form we anticipate, nor in our desired timing, but it is surely approaching. Just as Job experienced renewal, so too will you discover your own wholeness. Remain steadfast in faith, trust the journey, and recognize that each step and stumble is guiding you closer to your true self. As for my own thoughts, I resonate with Paule’s wisdom "When life hands you lemons, don’t settle for lemonade—create a vibrant fruit salad and invite the community to join in the celebration." After all, even Ruth understood that life can present us with sour moments, as we look forward to this coming Sunday's readings (Ruth 1:1-8). Instead of allowing bitterness to take root, it's about gathering those around you and transforming struggle into sweetness.
As it says in Isaiah 40:31, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." May this promise lift your spirits Paule and empower you as you embrace your new calling, knowing that God is with you every step of the way. I felt completed to share a prayer for our brother in Christ:
Gracious God, we thank You for the journey of faith that each of us walks, often marked by challenges and triumphs alike. As we lift Pastor Paule and all those navigating their callings to You, may they feel Your presence guiding them toward restoration through Jesus, who walks alongside us in every moment. Grant them strength to embrace the unknown, courage to face their struggles, and the comfort of community in their journeys. Help us all to find beauty in our brokenness and purpose in our pain, trusting that Your grace is ever present. Amen.
I like to conclude interviews by asking about music and books, as they are integral to our lives. Paule shared his love for secular rap and metal, mentioning how he reconnects with Anberlin and Underoath while grounding himself with Crowder and acoustic rock like Caspian. Paule finds worship music emotionally intense, which causes concern among his Evangelical co-worshippers. He notes a deep longing for salvation and peace in the U.S., reflecting Francis Schaeffer's insights on music as a reflection of worldview. His current top books include Leadership & Self-Deception, Philosopher of the Heart, and The Scapegoat, and he frequently revisits Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations.
Footnotes:
Main Image Title: "Golden Threads of Grace" Supplied and enhanced using Midjourney's image generation model.
Other Images: Photos Supplied.
** If you are struggling and need help, please know that you are not alone. We encourage you to visit our resources page, where you will find a variety of support options or you can reach out to Pastor Paule Patterson at https://drunkpastor.com/contact/ **
Article by: Shane St Reynolds
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