Love, War, and Theology: Navigating Faith and Sexuality in David Bennett's Story
Dr. David Bennett recently completed his doctorate (DPhil) in theology at Oxford University where he now works as a postdoctoral research fellow in the Theology and Religion Faculty. His book, A War of Loves, has emerged as a significant resource for individuals navigating the complex relationship between faith and sexuality, featuring a foreword by the esteemed N.T. Wright. In this deeply personal narrative, Bennett shares his journey from an atheistic gay activist in Sydney’s LGBTQ+ scene to a committed follower of Jesus. His conversion came in the most unexpected of places—a pub in the gay quarter of Sydney—where he encountered the love of Christ in a transformative way. This profound experience would go on to shape his theology and ultimately lead him toward celibacy, a path that is often misunderstood but deeply meaningful to Bennett.
Bennett’s testimony is one of tension between what he once perceived as incompatible: his identity as a gay man and his newfound faith in Christ. Rather than dismiss or erase his desires, Bennett approached his sexuality through a theological lens, seeking to understand how it could be aligned with Christian discipleship. His journey, which he describes as a "war of loves," is a testament to the power of God’s love to redefine human desire and identity, while still acknowledging the real, lived experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals.
David Bennett’s book presents a particular lived Christian experience which deserves hearing. I am grateful to all who are contributing their learning, experience, study, and prayer to help us all to proclaim afresh the gospel of Jesus Christ. -- Sentamu Eboracensis, Archbishop of York
Many lesbian, gay, and bisexual people feel they cannot be true to both their sexuality and the Christian faith. David demonstrates that integrity and authenticity are possible for gay Christians, sharing beautiful insights about love, friendship, and following Jesus too. -- Rev. Dr. Sean Doherty, Christian ethicist; author, The Only Way Is Ethics
Some readers, however, have found Bennett’s writing challenging to digest. One reader noted, "Bennett isn’t at war with love. He’s at war with himself and has no idea how to reconcile." This critique highlights a recurring concern: that Bennett’s struggles with his identity are more internal than theological. For some, his writing seems to suggest a deeper issue of personal conflict rather than an inspiring resolution of love and faith.
Another critical point raised is the idea that celibacy is presented as the only acceptable path for LGBTQ+ Christians, which readers like this one find problematic: "Lemme mention that I have no problem with those who choose to be celibate. That’s a personal choice. However, preaching that route as literally the only way to love and breathe Jesus is misguided at best." For those who believe in the inclusivity of Christ’s love, Bennett’s approach feels limiting and alienating.
There’s also the critique that Bennett’s journey feels more like an attempt to "fit in" with church expectations than a genuine exploration of faith. "I think Bennett has such a deep desire to fit in rather than actually believe in something," the review continues, "he’s forced himself to swallow doctrine and his own fears to just completely give up anything else."
For these readers, Bennett’s message, instead of bringing healing or unity, seemed to come across as misguided and, at times, dangerous for the LGBTQ+ community. Bennett’s story plays out within the larger Christian debate on LGBTQ+ inclusion, often described in terms of three primary perspectives: Side A, Side B, and Side Y.
Side A: Christians fully affirm same-sex relationships, believing that the Bible, when interpreted through a lens of historical context and progressive revelation, supports committed same-sex unions. They argue that Christian love and justice must extend to LGBTQ+ individuals, including in marriage. For Side A, same-sex relationships are seen as morally equal to heterosexual relationships, and many believe that denying LGBTQ+ people the right to marry or express their love goes against the inclusive and loving message of Jesus.
Bennett, however, aligns more closely with Side B, which takes a traditional stance on sexual ethics. Side B Christians believe that same-sex attraction is not sinful in itself but that acting on that attraction outside of a heterosexual marriage is inconsistent with biblical teachings. This position supports celibacy for LGBTQ+ Christians, allowing for deep same-sex friendships, sometimes referred to as “Spiritual Friendship,” as long as those relationships remain non-sexual. Bennett embraces this view, emphasising that celibacy, far from being a suppression of desires, can be a life-giving expression of discipleship.
On the other end of the spectrum is Side Y, which goes even further in rejecting LGBTQ+ identities. Christians on Side Y often avoid terms like "gay" or "queer" altogether, instead describing themselves as "Christians who struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions." They believe that even identifying as gay conflicts with a biblical understanding of human identity. For Side Y, the ultimate goal is to resist same-sex desires entirely, rather than live in a celibate way that acknowledges those desires as Bennett does.
Bennett’s Side B approach, while more conservative than Side A, is not without its critics. Some Side Y theologians, such as Christopher Yuan, critique Bennett and the Revoice movement for allowing same-sex attraction to remain a recognised part of identity, even if not acted upon. Yuan and others argue that all forms of same-sex desire are part of humanity's fallen nature and should be actively resisted, not just reframed through celibacy.
This debate highlights the theological tension between seeing same-sex attraction as inherently disordered versus understanding it as a reflection of human brokenness that can be redeemed through a Christ-centered life. Bennett navigates this middle ground by affirming that same-sex desires can exist but are to be lived out through celibacy and discipleship.
In addition to his personal story, Bennett’s academic work is making significant contributions to queer theology and the broader conversation about sexuality and Christian ethics. His doctoral thesis, Queering the Queer: A Theological Ethics of Same-Sex Desire and Gay Celibacy in Contemporary Anglican Thought, explores the role of desire in knowing God, particularly within the framework of the Trinity and queer theology.
His work bridges various disciplines—patristics, ethics, and modern queer theology—offering fresh perspectives on how the Church can better love and support LGBTQ+ individuals without compromising its theological convictions. Bennett’s approach emphasises the importance of desire in Christian discipleship, proposing that even same-sex desires, when properly understood, can lead individuals closer to God.
As a gay celibate Christian, Bennett's voice is particularly important in today’s church. His commitment to celibacy, not as a suppression of desire but as a reorientation of it towards God, challenges both the secular and Christian communities. He frequently speaks at churches, academic conferences, and public forums, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of love, holiness, and sexuality.
His message is one of radical inclusion and radical discipleship. He seeks to show how LGBTQ+ individuals can live flourishing lives in Christ without abandoning their faith or their identities. Bennett also addresses the need for the Church to extend love and solidarity to marginalised communities, emphasising that the gospel message is for everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
David Bennett’s journey offers a compelling vision for how Christians can navigate the complexities of faith and sexuality in the modern world. His life and work challenge us to think more deeply about what it means to love God with our whole selves—desires, struggles, and all. Whether or not one agrees with all his theological conclusions, Bennett’s commitment to living authentically as both gay and Christian is a witness to the transformative power of God’s love.
As debates around sexuality and identity continue to unfold within the Church, voices like Bennett’s offer a way forward—one that is both faithful to biblical teaching and compassionate towards the lived experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals. His work is not only for those grappling with these issues personally but also for all Christians who want to better understand how to love their neighbors, reflecting the radical love of Christ in every aspect of life. At the same time, it’s essential to engage with the perspectives from Side A, who advocate for the full affirmation of LGBTQ+ relationships within the Church. Together, these conversations can foster a more inclusive environment where all individuals are welcomed and valued in their unique journeys of faith.
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