The Dark Side of Anglican Church Southern Queensland

 

Trigger Warning: This content addresses sensitive themes that may be distressing to some readers.

Being part of an organisation dedicated to guiding people toward faith, it’s hard to fathom there could be a darker side. Recently, I revisited my old journals, and the memories came flooding back—memories I had tucked away. With hindsight, I now see things I couldn’t grasp at the time, and it’s unsettling.

I often turned to God, seeking help to become a better servant. I prayed for the strength to endure long hours without complaint. But over time, my confidence and joy started to fade. I found myself writing about my struggles with prayer, and as the days turned into months, my situation only worsened. I felt exhausted all the time and began to believe I was the problem.

I want to share my experiences for a few reasons. Perhaps you’re in a similar situation, questioning your feelings or wondering if you’re overreacting. Or maybe you’re close to someone who seems to be struggling, and you’re trying to understand. I hope my story can provide clarity and healing to those still enduring their pain.

During my time in the Anglican Church in Southern Queensland, I was training to be a priest and living in the church’s rectory. At first, it felt like a privilege to serve. Gradually, though, the atmosphere changed. I experienced bullying that stripped away my confidence, leaving me feeling like a hollow shell. I was manipulated into submission and fear, my spirit almost broken.

As a forensic medical expert noted during the legal proceedings against the church, I endured significant psychosocial stress, leading to distress, anxiety, and depression after being sexually harassed and assaulted. The diagnosis was adjustment disorder with mixed depressed and anxious mood, alongside symptoms of PTSD—all a result of the abuse I suffered. Before this, I had been functioning well, without any mental health issues. The church’s actions inflicted lasting trauma, and I spent years working to heal those wounds.

Many people have asked why I allowed the church to mistreat me for so long, especially since I used to be quite confident. I viewed the church as a sanctuary, a sacred space where I let my guard down, making me vulnerable to the harm that followed. In hindsight, I recognise that my attempt to engage in conversion therapy with a psychologist was a mistake that further harmed my mental health.

I have deep compassion for the younger version of myself. When your entire life revolves around one community—work, social connections, and spirituality—it becomes all-consuming. You can feel brainwashed into believing you have to make it work, no matter the cost of leaving.

There’s a systemic issue within the Church today that allows harassment and abuse to persist, largely because too many leaders choose silence. In my case, no one stood up for me. It’s time for the truth to emerge, for those who have the strength to advocate for the confused, broken, or frightened. Identifying abusers and their actions isn’t gossip; it’s a necessary step toward accountability.

I’m committed to being a voice for the voiceless, as guided by the Lord. I pray for strength, grace, compassion, and wisdom for all of us in these challenging times. God continues to reveal truths because He loves His children and the Church. Whatever He uncovers, He also heals.

I recently had the opportunity to spend half an hour with Archbishop Jeremy Greaves just before he issued an apology to the LGBTQ community. Unfortunately, I didn’t sense the compassion I had hoped for; he seemed distant and indifferent. I found the apology lacking sincerity and felt it didn’t truly address the concerns of the community.

** If you are in need of support or assistance, please don’t hesitate to reach out to someone who can help. You don’t have to navigate this alone. **

Photo: Phillip Aspinall, the former Anglican archbishop of Brisbane, who faced allegations of attempting to intimidate a victim of sexual abuse into abandoning legal action against the church. After the victim disclosed that he had been abused by a paedophile music teacher, Aspinall allegedly told him to turn away from the "sinful path" of pursuing litigation and instead suggested mediation within the church.

Editor's Note: A personal account shared by a former member of the Anglican Church.